I bet Jesus never had to deal with this

There are a lot of bad things in the world, but for some reason, one of the things that bothers me the most is being treated like I'm subservient. Yea, I like to accommodate and I don't mind inconveniencing myself to makes someone else happy, but the moment someone starts taking advantage of that, I'm about through being nice. I'd love to give you a ride somewhere. Need some sugar? If I have it you can totally use it. I bet you'd love for me to help you wash your dishes. And I'm all too happy to do it for you, but the second you start bossing me around like I'm here only to serve you, you're gonna be wishing you had asked me to have the hospital number on speed dial for you. I'm so tired of people taking advantage of me and I'm about through with being nice. Because now people except me to do things for them all the freaken time and I never have time to get my own stuff done. Society blows.

When I Was Young

I used to watch my mother cook dinner and on the nights she made soup or something like it, I would ask if I could stir. While I was stirring I would pretend that I was a witch brewing up some sort of potion.

On sundays after church I would go outside and sit letting the wind lift my hair and I would pretend that I was a princess. I would even sing sometimes.

When I was in the house alone, I'd sing a duet- my partner was invisible, but I always saw him and I heard him crystal clear.

Katelyn and I would swing and we would close our eyes and enter a totally different world. We rode horses and fought witches and rescued a princess. It was always the same princess. I just realized how annoying that it.

When we had dinner guests coming over and my mother asked me to light candles, I would imagine the candles crying out in pain. The worst part is that I liked it.

Danielle and I would sometimes play in the back yard and on the days the were nice we would jump on the trampoline with the sprinklers going and we would pretend that we were abused ponies living in the sky, but everytime we were injured, it only made us jump higher and fly faster (we were ponies that could fly) and kick harder.

I was never very sure how to play with dolls so I just put music on and made them dance like they were in the music video.

I was convinced that cars could drive themselves. Until the day my dad proved other wise... we nearly went off the road.

I dont remember ever believing in Santa Clause.

My sister and I and some of the neighborhood kids would pretend like we were homeless when it was raining outside.

My dad would take us to Golden Corale and make us eat some sort of vegtable before anything else. I always got brocolli and cheese.

I was really upset the day we moved and it took me a long time before I liked the new house.

I never liked my drinks with ice.

I had a lot of dreams about clocks and snakes.

I have no memory of this, but apparently I stabbed my sister with a pencil once.

When I would walk to my piano lessons, I always looked over my should because I was sure someone was following me.

I would sit in the hamic swing and sing about three people who didn't exsist.

I used to corolate numbers with colors. 5 was red 4 was blue and when you add them they make 9 which was purple.

I was convinced that cats couldn't breathe unless they could move their tail.

Many Sides of Ramen

I'm trying to make a list of all the different ways to eat Ramen

1. The normal way where you cook it in water then add the broth
2. Dry, pouring the dry broth over it and eating it like chips
3. Crunching up the noodles and putting it on a salad
4. Making the noodles, draining the water and adding chicken and possibly a pasta sauce
5. Making the noodles, mixing them with eggs and baking it as a crust for a lasagna pie
6. Separating the layers of noodles and placing an egg on top. Over Easy? i think thats what it's called
7. Cooking it like normal and adding cream of chicken (my favorite way)
8. Melting cheese over the top of the uncooked noodles (really unhealthy, but its like asian nachos)
9. Making the noodles and mixing them into a pan that is sauteing (don't know how to spell it) vegtables and pouring the broth powder into it
10. Making the ramen like normal and adding beef and vegtables to make it a bit more hearty

3 Dollars can go far

I'm collecting a list of things you can buy with three dollars (no tax included with some of these)
1. three Gatorades from 7-11
2. a tie from the DI
3. a pillow from the DI
4. three churos from Del Taco
5. six boxes of genaric mac n' cheese from Wal Mart
6. fifteen packets of Ramen from Smiths
7. six green burritos from Del Taco
8. twelve gum balls from a gum ball machine
9. six pecks from a kissing booth
10. three glasses of lemonade from a lemonade stand
11. two packets of gum from 7-11
12. three movies rented from Redbox for one night
13. a really cheap box of hair dye
14. three tubes of Wet N' Wild lipstick
15. a test at the UVU testing center (yea they charge $3 a test... dumb)
16. a chocolate covered frozen banana
17. a million drinks from Taco Bell (I get them for free hahaha)
18. less than a gallon of gasoline
19. a pre-wrapped brownie from 7-11
20. a gallon of milk


I will add more later

Sometimes we act like birds

The weather today is perfect; sunny, warm, a slight breeze. I decided to ride my bike. So I was just cruising along, humming to myself when all of a sudden, a bird tumbles out in front of me. My heart stopped, my wheels screached, and my eyes bulged as I barely grazed the little guy. I could hear his tweet of terror and I turned around instantly to see if he was okay. I noticed that he had broken his wing and I prayed that it wasn't my fault. I replayed the incident in my head and assured myself that it wasn't... not after remembering how he rolled out in front of me. I couldnt do much to help him. I would have taken him in with me if I had a way to carry him home and if I had a place to store him once he was inside. I left the poor little guy in the grass. "Why on Earth would you hop in front of me like that?" I scolded him. It's just like a bird to throw itself into danger.

What Matters?

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What matters?

What matters? In the end, when all is said and done, what matters? What matters?

Is it the clothes you wear? The people you meet? The places you go? The things you know? The people you hurt? The people you help? The jobs you have? The family you come from? The time it takes for you to download a song? The things you make? The memories? WHAT MATTERS?!

Because I'm lost over here.... I used to think that love mattered above all, but even I am questioning that. Does love conquer all? Is love what keeps people together? Or is it convenience and common interests? ugh this whole figuring life out stuff is hard work. I don't know what matters.

I guess different things matter to different people... in that case... what matters to me? Money? That seems to be a big thing in society these days.

Jobs...

So I have an interview today. I am being considered for a management position and I'm really excited. Andrew and I were talking and he said that I was lucky because he knows people who have spent years in the service jobs and still havent made it to management. "You'r lucky", he said. "You say lucky, I say skilled." was my responce. But it's kind of true. With all the persistence I've put into this job, I could have gotten any job... I could have been a CEO.... of a lemonade stand, but still I get my own corner under the table. If I put this much effort into everything could you image how far I could go? Interesting to think about.

Rothko

This is based off of a piece from Rothko. It was an assignment for my Hummanities 1010 class. Not too bad for someone who doesnt paint.

WORDS!!!!!

Who loves words??? I do! Here's a list of underused words.

agelast

one who never laughs.

aglet

the plastic tip on the end of a shoelace.

akimbo

of the arms, with the hands on the hips and elbows bent outward. "He stood akimbo and surveyed the wreckage."

anadromous

of fish, migrating up rivers from the sea to spawn in fresh water.

anile

like a doddering, foolish old woman.

anserine

goose-like; also, silly, foolish, or stupid.

anthropophagy

cannibalism.

apolaustic

wholly devoted to the seeking of enjoyment.

arcadian

idyllically pastoral, simple, or untroubled.

avuncular

of or pertaining to an uncle; also, uncle-like.

barratry

the offense of frequently stirring up lawsuits or quarrels; also, in maritime law, fraud or gross criminal negligence by a captain or crew at the expense of a ship's owner or of the owner of a ship's cargo.

bastinado

torture by beating on the soles of the feet.

bezonian

a scoundrel.

bibcock

a faucet that is bent downward

bibliobibuli

those who read too much.

biffy

a toilet or outhouse.

bodewash

dried buffalo dung, used as fuel for fire.

boeotian

stupid, dull, obtuse; also, such a person.

bolus

a large medicinal pill; also, a mass of chewed food.

boondoggle

an unnecessary activity or wasteful expenditure.

borborygmic

pertaining to the rumbling of one's stomach or intestines.

bosky

having an abundance of trees or shrubbery.

brobdingnagian

enormous, immense.

brummagem

cheap and showy but inferior and worthless.

buccal

of or pertaining to the cheek or the mouth.

bugaboo

something that causes baseless fear or worry; also, a false belief used to intimidate.

bumf

toilet paper; also, worthless paperwork, literature, or junk mail.

callipygian

having shapely buttocks. See also: steatopygic.

captious

apt to raise objections to trivial faults or defects; given to fault-finding; difficult to please.

caryatid

a draped female figure supporting an entablature.

caseifaction

the act of turning into cheese.

cataglottism

kissing with the tongue.

cerumen

earwax.

chatoyant

changing in luster or color, as cat's eyes.

chiaroscuro

distribution of light and shade in a picture

chthonic

dwelling in the underworld.

cicisbeo

a male escort or lover of a married woman.

collation

a light meal.

contumelious

insolently abusive and humiliating.

corrigendum

a mistake to be corrected, especially an error in a printed book.

corybantic

frenzied or agitated.

crapulous

given to, characterized by, or suffering from gross excess in eating and drinking.

cynosure

a center of attraction or admiration.

dandle

to dance (a child) on one's knees; the action taken by a dandler.

deasil

clockwise. See also: widdershins.

defenestrate

to throw out of a window

dendrochronology

the study of growth rings on trees.

dipsomania

uncontrollable craving for alcohol.

discalced

barefooted.

doddle

something easy or requiring little effort.

donnybrook

a brawl or heated public dispute.

dottle

the plug of unburned tobacco left in a pipe after smoking.

draggle

make wet and dirty by dragging on the ground.

duff

decaying matter in a forest

ecdysiast

stripper.

edacious

devouring, consuming, voracious.

eesome

pleasing to the eye.

emollient

characteristic of that which softens or soothes the skin.

enantiodromic

characteristic of something that has become its opposite.

energumen

one who is possessed by a demonic entity.

epeolatry

worship of words.

epigone

an undistinguished imitator or descendant of an illustrious person or family.

eructation

belching; also, discharge of a volcano.

esprit d'escalier

a remark that occurs to someone later, after it should have been said (often a witty retort that occurs after the moment to use it has passed).

estivate

to spend the summer.

esurient

hungry.

evancalous

pleasant to embrace.

expiscate

to learn through laborious investigation.

exsanguinate

to drain blood from.

factotum

employee or assistant who does just about everything.

fantods

a state of nervous irritability; the fidgets; the willies. "Waiting for this semester's report card is giving me the fantods."

fernticle

freckle.

fescue

a small stick used to point out letters to a child learning to read.

flews

the pendulous corners of the upper lip of certain dogs, such as the bloodhound.

floccinaucinihilipilification

the categorizing of something as worthless.

flummery

meaningless chatter; also, deceptive language.

footle

to talk or act foolishly; to waste time.

foudroyant

dazzling, flashing; also, thunderous, noisy.

friable

easily crumbled; crumbly.

frisson

an emotional thrill; a shudder of emotion.

frowzy

ill-smelling, musty; also, slovenly, unkempt.

fugacious

fleeting, transitory; difficult to capture.

funambulist

a tightrope walker

gallimaufry

jumble or medley; hodgepodge.

geck

a dupe.

genuflect

bend the knee and lower the body, especially in reverence.

gleek

to joke or jest.

gobbledygook

windy gibberish or jargon.

gorbellied

corpulent.

gormless

dull, stupid, clumsy.

gound

the gunk that collects in the corners of the eyes during sleep.

gowpen

two hands placed together to form a bowl-shape; also, the amount that can be contained in a pair of cupped hands.

graustark

an imaginary place of high romance.

grimthorpe

remodel or restore an old building without proper grounding or knowledge of its authentic character or without exercising care to remain faithful to its original quality and uniqueness; after Baron Grimthorpe, English lawyer and architect, restorer of St. Alban's cathedral.

hallux

big toe.

hangdog

shamefaced, browbeaten, or intimidated.

hebdomedal

weekly.

hircine

goat-like; also, lustful.

hirple

to hobble or walk lamely.

hornswoggle

bamboozle, deceive.

hoyden

a boisterous, carefree girl; a tomboy.

infucate

to apply cosmetics.

inglenook

a nook by a fireplace.

insouciant

blithely unconcerned.

insufflate

to blow on or breathe into.

izzat

honor, prestige, reputation.

jillick

to skip a stone across water.

jocoserious

combining serious and humorous matters.

jugulate

to slit the throat.

kalopsia

the delusion that things are more beautiful than they really are.

katzenjammer

a loud, discordant noise; also, a hangover; also, a state of depression or bewilderment.

kibitz

to look on and offer unsolicited, meddlesome advice; to make wisecracks when others are trying to work or speak seriously.

kickshaw

a trinket or bauble; a culinary delicacy.

lambent

softly radiant; of a light or flame, playing on a surface without burning it; also, dealing lightly and gracefully with a subject of discussion.

lapidate

to stone to death.

latrinalia

graffiti found in restrooms.

legerdemain

slight of hand; magic tricks.

liripipe

a long scarf or cord attached to and hanging from a hood.

ludic

characterized by playfulness.

macerate

to make or become soft by steeping in a liquid; also, to waste away by fasting.

madefy

moisten.

maffick

to rejoice with an extravagant and boisterous public celebration.

malinger

pretend to be ill in order to avoid work or shirk duty.

marmoreal

resembling marble.

mawkish

excessively or feebly sentimental; also, having a faint, sickly taste.

meldrop

a drop of mucus at the end of the nose.

mendacious

telling lies, especially habitually; untruthful.

miasma

a noxious atmosphere or influence; unpleasant or unwholesome air.

misprision

neglect or wrongful action committed by a public official.

moiety

about half of something.

monomania

obsession with one idea or interest.

moonglade

the bright reflection of the moon on a body of water.

mordant

bitingly sarcastic.

mosh

to engage in uninhibited, frenzied activities with others near the stage at a rock concert. See also: mosh pit.

mosh pit

the place near the stage at a rock concert where moshing occurs. See also: mosh.

mulct

to take money from, by taxation or by trickery.

mundungus

stinky tobacco.

myrmidon

an unscrupulously faithful follower; henchman.

napiform

resembling a turnip.

neologist

one who makes up new words.

nidify

to build a nest.

noctambulist

a sleepwalker; somnambulist.

nosocomephrenia

depression due to a prolonged hospital stay.

nothosonomia

the act of calling someone a bastard.

nudiustertian

pertaining to the day before yesterday.

nyctalopia

night blindness.

obdormition

numbness caused by pressure on a nerve, as when one's foot is "asleep."

obnubilate

cloud over, darken, or obscure.

ochlocracy

mob rule.

octothorpe

the '#' symbol; also, "octothorp."

omphalopsychite

one who contemplates his navel. See also: omphaloskepsis.

omphaloskepsis

contemplation of one's navel. See also: omphalopsychite.

opsimath

one who begins to learn late in life.

ort

a scrap of food left after a meal is completed.

osculate

kiss.

ovoviviparous

producing eggs that hatch within the female's body without obtaining nourishment from it.

oxter

armpit.

pandiculation

the stretching that accompanies yawning.

panjandrum

a pompous official or pretender; also, the mock title of a self-important person.

pantaloon

a man's close-fitting garment for the hips and legs, worn especially in the 19th century

pate

top of the head, usually a bald head.

penny-farthing

an old-fashioned kind of bicycle with a huge front wheel.

penultimate

next to last.

perendinate

to put off until the day after tomorrow; also, to keep postponing from day to day.

peripatetic

going from place to place; itinerant.

philtrum

the vertical groove between the nose and upper lip.

picaresque

of fiction, dealing with the adventures of a rogue.

pilose

covered with hair.

pilpul

a nitpicking, unproductive argument.

pinguid

fat; also, greasy.

placebo

a harmless substance given as medicine, usually to humor a patient.

poetaster

an inferior poet.

popinjay

a talkative and conceited person.

popliteal

of or pertaining to the back of the knee.

preponderate

to surpass others in numbers, intensity, force, or prowess.

prescind

turn aside.

psithurism

a low whispering sound, such as the rustle of leaves.

puckeroo

useless, broken.

pulchritude

attractiveness.

purulent

containing, consisting of, or discharging pus.

pusillanimous

timid, faint-hearted, or cowardly.

quidnunc

a busybody or a gossip.

quincunx

the pattern of five objects arranged such that four of the five objects form a square, while the fifth is positioned in the middle. "The dots on the '5' side of a die are arranged in a quincunx."

quisquilious

like rubbish; trashy, worthless.

raconteur

one skilled in telling stories.

rebarbative

causing aversion or irritation.

recension

an editorial revision of a literary work.

recidivist

one who continually commits crime and seems incurable of criminal tendencies.

recrudesce

of a disease, sore, or hostile feeling, to break out again.

renitent

resistant to pressure.

retroussé

turned up at the tip, especially a nose.

rhabdomantist

one who practices divination by means of a rod to locate underground water; a dowser.

riant

smiling.

sanguinary

bloodthirsty; murderous.

sanguine

cheerfully confident or optimistic; also, having a healthy, reddish color.

saturnine

characteristic of a person having a gloomy or forbidding appearance.

scuttlebutt

gossip.

seersucker

a light, thin fabric, such as cotton or rayon, with a crinkled surface and a usually striped pattern.

sericate

silky.

simous

having a very flat or snub nose, with the end turned up.

skosh

a small amount; a tad.

smithereens

fragments or splintered pieces.

snollygoster

a shrewd, unprincipled person.

sockdolager

a conclusive blow or remark; also, something outstanding.

somnambulist

a sleepwalker; noctambulist.

spanghew

to cause a frog or toad to fly up in the air.

spartle

to move the body or limbs in a sprawling or struggling manner.

squidger

the huge disc, or wink, used to propel other winks in the game of Tiddly-Winks.

squiffed

intoxicated.

steatopygic

having fat buttocks. See also: callipygian.

sternutation

the act of sneezing; also, a sneeze.

stymie

to thwart, stump, or obstruct.

subderisorious

ridiculing in moderation.

subfusc

drab, dusty.

suppurate

to form pus; to fester.

susurration

whispering, murmuring, or rustling.

sycophant

one who attempts to gain a personal advantage by servile flattery.

tantalolagnia

arousal caused by teasing.

tantivy

a headlong dash or rapid gallop; also, characteristic of one in a tantivy; also, the blare of a trumpet or horn. "The man was running tantivy after the thief."

tauromachy

the art of bullfighting.

tenebrific

producing darkness; obscuring.

tergiversate

to turn one's back on one's party or cause; also, to make evasive statements or equivocate.

termagant

a shrewish, bullying woman.

thewy

muscled, brawny.

tintinnabulous

of or relating to bells or the ringing of bells

tohubohu

a state of chaos, disorder, and confusion.

tragus

the little flap of cartilage that projects over the hole in one's ear.

trollop

a promiscuous woman.

twee

affectedly cute or quaint; overly precious or nice.

ultra-crepidarian

giving opinions or criticism beyond one's own range of experience.

ululate

lament loudly and shrilly; wail.

umbrage

the feeling of being offended.

vermiculate

having wavy, wormlike lines or motion; sinuous, tortuous.

vexillologist

one who studies flags.

vicissitude

a change of circumstances affecting one's life.

walla-walla

the unintelligible sound made by many people talking at once.

whelm

to cover or engulf completely, usually with disastrous effect.

whinge

complain fretfully, whine.

widdershins

counterclockwise; also, in a contrary direction.

Ally McBeal

I'm not sure how familiar you are with Ally McBeal, but if you are, here is my self analysis based on that show. There are times when I'm like Ally: a little crazy, enjoying my misery, hallucinations, self esteme issues, and the fear that I will forever be alone. And the rest of the time I'm Renne: confident, sexy, cool, smooth, and strong. Is it possible to be two completely different people and still be balanced?

4th of July Parade

4th of July parade in provo

Life is like a fast food restaurant

Tonight I realized that life is like a fast food restaurant. Andrew was closing at Taco Bell and since it was so late, I figured that I'd be nice and pick him up so he didnt have to walk home. Plus I really wanted a pink lemonade. That's the cool thing about dating a guy who works at a fast food restaurant; get all the crew members and managers to like you, and you get free drinks and sometimes yummy cinnatwists. Anyway, I got there a bit early so I waited and Andrews manager was nice enough to let me sit in the back so I didnt have to sit in the lobby all by myself all awkward... anyway I felt really cool becuase I've always wondered about the "behind-the-scenes" aspect of the fast food business. I was sitting in the managers chair as he and Andrew cleaned up and put the extra food back in the freezer and such. As I was sitting there, biting my cuticles, I started thinking that life is like a fast food restaurant. During the day you interact with a whole slew of people and you get your work done and then when you fall asleep; or close your doors and shut off the lights-- the little crew memebers in your brain clean up the messes you made and so when you returned the next morning, everything is just how it was the morning before: clean, tidy, organized, and fresh. I'm going to bed, I just finished my pink lemonade

Making S'mores

Sometimes I get my best ideas when I can't sleep. For example, last night I came up with a story idea. I haven't thought up a plot in a while so I was excited. Unfortunately, I went to sleep before I wrote it down and now I completely forgot what it was. Isn't just how life is? When we finally catch a break, we do something to ruin it and then there goes our chance. Life is always throwing that at me. Sort of like when you stick a marshmallow in the fire and you turn your head for a breif second and when you look back at it, it's only because everyone is shouting at you because its on fire. And by the time you finally get the flames extinguished, it's too late and you have to let it fall to the fire. Imagine doing that with every marshmallow that gets handed to you. How incredibly frustrating. That's why I sort of refuse to make hypothetical s'mores. First off, they are loaded with sugar and carbs, and second, because making something like a sandwich is much less threatening... unless of course you have a dog sitting near by in which case it would only be a matter of time before you look away and the dog snatches it from your hand.

Provo Pedestrian

Dear pedestrian,
As silly as this may make me seem, I'm assuming that you are human. I mean all the clues are there. You are a bipedal, are carrying a backpack, are wearing clothes, and iyou have two eyes, two ears, a mouth, and a nose. Then again so does a chimp. But, lets say for arguments sake that you are, without a doubt, human. Why then, good sir, did you dart in front of my car as I was going down a hill at 45 miles per hour??? There were no cars in front of me, and it would be a while for more cars to come behind me, so I'm trying to understand what in the world you were thinking. Suicidal? Maybe. I wouldn't blame you for it with that awful haircut. Blind? Doubtful seeing as you looked both ways before you decided that going in front of my car was the best choice. Adrenaline junkie? Possible. Although I'd expect something much more than running out in front of a car in which case I'm very disapointed in you. Psychotic? Likely.
Take care of yourself,
Sammie