The Case of the Missing Toilet Paper

Normal people use toilet paper right? So is it odd for me to ask where the toilet paper is when I go to grab a roll? Most people aren't secretly using animal skins and leaves right? So tell me why, when I asked my roommate where the toilet paper is, she scoffed at me. Seriously. Now my interest is peeked.
This is the case of the missing toilet paper.
So I began investigating becuase no one survive without this valuable resource. My sources lead me to an odd conclusion. The toilet paper is... (pause for dramatic effect) at the freaken STORE!!! Apparently my roommates believe that the toilet paper just magically appears overnight from the magic toilet paper fairy. I've bought toilet paper three times this semester and that totals to around 40 rolls. I think I've paid my dues. Buy some effing toilet paper you slakers!!! Holy crap. Y'all are just gonna have to survive off paper towels as I sparingly use my secret stash of toilet paper.

Misfit

It's amazing how easy it is to claim the title of "The Terrible and Troublesome" child when I'm being compared to "The Amazing and Perfect" one.

Toothpaste

So yesterday my face was covered in a massive breakout. Zits galore! And I'm an impatient person and I wanted them to be gone asap. I researched how to clear up zits over night and one of the options was to put ice on your face for 10 mins... hmm do I want to freeze my face off? No thank you. Next, put Visine on the zits to decrease the redness... I've done that and it doesnt work. Next, mix 50 avacados and a pound of active yeast and a bucket of lemon juice and let it sit there for 6 hours... okay I'm exagerating but I hate those home remedy masks 1. they smell bad and 2. they don't work. So finally I got to the suggestion of putting toothpasts on a zit and letting it sit over night. Worth a shot. So I put some Crest Whitening Toothpaste, because thats what I had and this morning I woke up with relatively no zits at all. Who woulda thougth?!

All the World's a Stage

Lately, I have been feeling incredibly deafeated. Defeated by everything. I have been feeling like I am the gum on the bottom of Life's shoe. But things changed tonight. Tonight, I took the stage.
I went to Sammy's, an swesome little hambuger joint in town, and performed for the first time in months. I was extremely nervous before the performance, but once I got on stage and saw the audience looking at me, I felt like I was flying. I felt like the whole world was under my dominion. I was powerful and beautiful and courageous! I felt like me again. I sang perfectly and I felt in total control. It was as if God gave me a sleeping baby to watch over. I forgot how much I love to perform. I forgot the total rush of giving my soul as a sacrifce to the audience. It is the best feeling in the world. I belong on stage. I think I'm going to make it a weekly habbit to go sing. It makes me feel compitent and radient. Oh what a lovely night!

Muchness

When I was younger, I was introduced to a flower. The petals were yellow and close together like a young tulip. The stem and leaves were lime green, very bright indeed. I was told that the sap of the stem tasted just like lemon candy. The stem was split open and I saw the translucent sap ooz and drip. I was told to taste it.
Would you taste it? What if the person who was telling you to taste it was somebody that you trusted? Well, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't taste it if someone were to ask me to taste the sap today. But, when a little 7 year old girl is told something as impossible as flower sap tasting like lemon candy, she believes. I tasted the sap and it really did taste like lemon candy.
Why is it that as we grow up and learn more, things make less and less sence. When we are young, we don't need things to make sense. We can be friends with a boy who pushed our friend five minutes ago and it is perfectly okay. When we are younger, we don't judge what people are wearing, or how they talk, or what their intellectual apptitude is. Why can't we be little kids again?
To quote the mad hatter of Alice and Wonderland : "You used to be much more...'muchier.' You've lost your muchness."
I think we all loose our muchness as we grow up. This is why it is rare to find someone who still dreams of being an astronaut, president of the United States, or a brain surgeon. I miss my muchness.

Obama

So, for my American Foundations class, we have these weekly tension analysis worksheets that require us to read opinion editorials. We then have to disect the little monsters and tell whether these articals show any kind of tension with in our modern society. We must also be completely unbiased and not take a side. This week, we are talking about a couple of articles which discuss Obama's presidency. The two articles are oposing, the first says that Obama hasn't done anything and that he is a lame president, the second says that Obama is still new to the office and just to give him a break. Okay, how much of that made sence to you? Give Obama a break?! Why would we give Obama a break?!!!!
He is RUNNING A COUNTRY!
Not babysitting toddlers! There is no room to give the president a break! It's like light the fire under your touche before your "subjects" do. Get going or get out!
Sigh.... I'm going to have to work really hard to stay unbiased on this one.

Take Me Home!

So in my math class we are at the finances section, and let me tell you, I am not enjoying it at all. Thinking about money and spending it and not having enough and being in debt seriously stresses me out! This is making me realize how much I have been babied all my life. I don't understand budgeting at all and I'm freaking out about spending money. This whole college life stuff is showing me what a grown up I'm not. I don't like it at all. I know what you're going to say, "That's life, Sammie. Grow up." And trust me I'm telling myself the same thing. But still it's just one more thing to add to my plate. I'm failing classes and I have no friends and I'm getting treated like dirt by people I trusted and it's cold and I'm sick and I'm eating a lot because I'm stressed and I'm still incredibly homesick and my sleeping habbits are at an all time wierd and my ear is begining to frustrate me and I get headaches everyday and I feel ugly and I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!!!! I hate it here. I'm not gonna lie. I mean I realize that I can't leave, because where else would I go? I need to finish school and get away from the valley. I know this is "good for me" but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Maybe if I had friends here, I would be happy. I want to find someone who needs me as much as I need them. Thats what I have with Aly and Amia, but I don't have that here. I know that it takes a while to make friends but.. sigh. I just wanna go home.
=(

Winter is fast approaching

                                              I turned my back for one second and then
                                  BOOM

                                                                           snow
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I want to go home

I'm going to ask you for just one minute to see things from my perspective.
I'm a college student who is living far away from everyone who proved to me they are trust worthy. I'm cold and damp and the only comfort I get is when I listen to rock music.
Rock music reminds me of my dad. It reminds me of the KISS concert, the day after Thanksgiving when we hung up lights, whenever my car needed work he would teach me, a quick clean up around the house before mom came home, any heavy lifting, 4-H, and of course John Wayne. The truth is, that when I lived in the valley, I never appriciated the time I spent with my dad. I never understood the special bond between and father and daughter, but now while I'm here, alone, thats all I want. I want my daddy. I want the comfort of a big daddy bear hug and his dorky smile when I say something sarcastic, and his calm voice. I love my dad.
I don't think my roommates appeciate it much that I blare KISS and Van Halen, but, to put it frankly, they can suck it.
Speaking of roomates, I've had some troubles. Kelsey, the girl who actually shares the bedroom with me has made me want to jump off the balcony. At first, we were really good friends and we told each other everything. She and I bonded over a lot of similar experiences. Recently, she haas been really mean. She says things that are rude and inconciderate and she did something that made me loose all faith in her.
See, Kelsey loves making treats for people she wants to butter up. She says its service but we all know that its only service to herself. Well, its not uncommon for her to ask me to help her deliver and I always do. This time she wanted me to deliver a plate of peanut butter things to one of our home teachers, Jordan Waite. She and Jordan have a love hate relationship. She is always mean to him and he puts up with it. I don't know. Its confusing. Anyway I went and delivered it and we had a pleasant conversation. He saw that there was a letter enclosed in the plate of treats and he said, "there is probably a nasty note in here from Kelsey isn't there?" and I just nodded. anyway we said our goodbyes and I went back to my apartment. When i got back in Kelsey asked me what took so long and I just said that Jordan and I were talking. Then she looked at me and said "dont be mad okay?" and I said... "okkkaay" Aparently, in the note she gave Jordan, it said that I was abusive and that I need to meet with the bishop for my violent behavior.
When she told me that, I felt like such a fool. 1. I trusted her 2. I had just walked into a trap so incredibly blind to everything 3. I had hand delivered this letter to Jordan. I wanted to cry. I was so embarrassed.
Ever since then, I have been avoiding her at all costs. I'm sleeping on the couch now. Well, at least I was until she decided that she wanted to sleep on the couch. That pissed me off because I finally found a spot that I was comfortable and she took it. Anyway I cant wait to get out of here. I hate it.
I thought that being at a Mormon college meant that I would be dealing with a higher class of people but aparently its middle school all over again.

Concert

So tonight I went to the Collegiate Choir and Vocal Union Choral Concert. It reminded me so much of home in so many ways. 1. Everyone was in even dress like when my momma and I would go to the Civic Center for theater productions. 2. The Choir was in a concert arc like in band. 3. I almost fell asleep like the one time my grandma took me to a concert and I fell asleep 4. The director's coat tails flapped as he conducted and it reminded me of roach wings.
The music was beautiful. It wasn't just boring choral stuff, but their songs had deep and haunting melodies. it was like being in a movie soundtrack of a war film. Their voices were so powerful and perfect. I am so glad I went.